Under Pressure

i feel a little sorry to suju and the staff when the new song, 'it's you' leaked. but honestly, i really enjoyed listening to it when it wasn't official yet. as expected, when something gets leaked, they release it officially earlier than the desired date. and so, that's what happened. here's suju new mv, it's you.
 
ad oh, odnt you think that ryeowook is getting cuter and cuter? kang in and shindong are getting slimmer too.

I did my best to notice,
When the call came down the line.
Up to the platform of surrender,
I was brought, but I was kind.      

new layout! the header was taken last Christmas. :) anyway, i have less stuff to do since it's Christmas break. Im not sure if it is something i should consider as a break since our helper is going to have her break too. that means, i gotta do chores.  pretty disappointing. :( My birthday is fast approaching. i don't have any plans yet. im not sure whom to spend it with. my family's not a problem; i could spend time with them anytime. but i dont know if i should go with hertz or my friends. why think about it now?

[edit] malou and i talked about unspoken stuff. i told her about this feeling and she told me hers to the other person. i wouldn't emphasize more on what she said. im unsure on what i am feeling. i don't know but i know there is a big tendency that there really is... something to me. not to him. im not telling you who the guy is, of course.  clue:  someone unexpected. out of reach. i don't know if i spoke about him here yet. there. hehe. so i was thinking about dumping my feelings as early as now before it's too late. i know. this will go nowhere so better terminate it now. i don't know. hopefully, this is just a misconception or some sort. i dont want to have my heart wrecked again. gumaganun? haha. okay lang. if ever, this will just be the second time. :) not baddd. zomg. i hate one sided love talaga. it's like the worst love case on earth.  wahahaa. im sorry. my mind's still unsorted.

oh, i've seen some icons I made a long time ago lying on my desktop. I thought it would be a waste if I wouldn't put it up here. so I got,

• [18] arashi


• [6] taguchi junnosuke

001	002	003

( OHNOessss! )

it's been three weeks since school started and my classmates are... i dont know how to describe them but they're totally different compared to my classmates during my second year. im not enjoying school unless its friday; my friends and i go out just like what we've done today. i mean, every friday after school. and by the way, i wake up at 5o'clock in the morning at go to school at 6:45 and classes will end at exactly 6o'clock in the evening! this might sound ridiculous but its true. its really harder than i thought!


anyway, here's the thing. i came back home at 7pm and my sister told me that i have a letter and its from Singapore's Ministry of Education!!!!!! The letter says that I have been short listed or the selection test in bangkok(?). i dont understand what's the connection od bangkok here. no, im not from thailand. so yea, i'll be taking the test on the 7th of july and i hope for the best! i aim to pass! want to study at singapore!

summer vacation is almost over. 4 more days to go until school starts. i'll start reviewing probably tomorrow. i feel like i just wasted my summer vacation. i was crying the whole day watching one liter of tears. ryo chan, suki desu. lol.


by the way, my father turned 54 yesterday. it just seemed like a normal-slash-regular day (dont know which is right to use). went swimming. im amazed how much my breathing improved. it wasn't easy for me doing laps using freestyle anyhow, i managed. i actually did between 250-300meters freestyle and around 400meters breast stroke.

subic is about 3 hours drive from manila. i stayed for about 3 days. it was totally unplanned. well, we sort of planned it 2 days before but an accident happened so yea, we decided to put that subic trip aside and i have no idea why the hell it did happen! anyway, that's been weeks ago -particularly, may 6-8. i dont forget snce the 7th is my sisters birthday. so yea..

my parents aren't around. mum went to the southern part of the philippines same as my dad but they're in different provinces, of course. dad will be back on saturday night while mum, uhhh im not sure. she neither. so yea, its pretty fun not to get scolded. my friends keep fooling around me, they were like, "you gonna have house party tonight?" talkshit. im broke besides im a good girl, man. lol.

its been a week or so since my last post so i gotta write something in this. last week was pretty awesome.

TUESDAY. - JEEPNEY.
there's a day i slept around 5 in the morning just chatting with my cousins the whole time. the tv's turned on but no ones watching and theres no more any shows. we had mcdonald's delivery and we were pretty clever that time; didn't want anybody else to wake up (my mom, my dad, my younger bro or our nanny). :D i had a chance to go out with veronica (only the two of us) at some place i thought i can't go without the use of a private car but unfortunately, i needed to commute to arrive at the designated place. before anything else at that morning, i went at my school because i need something for my scholarship application and yes, i didn't get it that time. shit, what a waste of time. so, i needed to continue my so-called "adventure" that time, i was thinking of getting a taxi but that just costs too much so, hell no. how bout a train, geez, i was scared if ever that would be just my 5th time i think but it will be the first time for me to ride alone and the last time i rode a train was like, ages ago, so, if i dont want to get in trouble, i shouldnt take that so i didn't. and my last choice was riding the oh-so-famous jeepney, cheapest and most comfortable(i just like it cause i can talk to the driver and ask stupid questions like where are we now, how long will it take, etc.)
if you aren't familiar what a jeepney is, here:

(snatched that over the net)
at last, i succeed! >:) after two hours, i arrived. :D

WEDNESDAY. - LATE.
Kim and I decided to meet at school at exactly 10:00 in the morning. Damn, i woke up 10 in the morning, the time i should arrive at school! i was so worried and find my mobile phone, just as i thought, the battery's dead, charged it while taking a shower and after 15 minutes, i left the house. i needed to photocopy my report card first before meeting her. Thank God, kim is one of the people who understand me most. I arrived there 11:00. 1 hour late. :(

THURSDAY.- WHY DO PEOPLE NEED TO SUFFER BEFORE THEY DIE?
Kim and I met again at school. This time, i wasn't late, i was early, yay! i was there 9:00 in the morning and she arrived at 11. i do really understand since it was brownout, the train wasn't working so she needed to ride a jeepney, which she hates the most. i waited at mcdonald's for the whole time and at last, she came looking exhausted. we went together at school and submitted our application forms; hoping we'll be qualified to submit it to the embassy of singapore. I want to study there, so badd! After submitting it which only took a couple of minutes, we ate at mcdonald's again. we stayed there for like, 4 hours just talking! yea, only the two of us and the crews were like staring at us maybe they wanted to ask if were waiting for someone, or whatever but i know they wouldn't since we look familiar to them, we always do the same thing, eat and stay for hours.
I came home, went upstairs and saw my sister surfing the internet, she said. " uncle george's dead"
i didn't shock me. i know, he's been suffering for a pretty long time, he's been in coma for years. undergo many operations just to prolong his life. he's a man i look up to, and also his family, they've been taking care of him since they knew he got this brain tumor but at the same time, they had hope. hoping that...-- i don't know. they knew he'll be dead after time. unbelievably, his life prolonged. believe me, he's been suffering this since 2000, and it's 2008 now. his doctor died first before him, how can that be.

FRIDAY.--PEOPLE-REMINISCING.
My dad came home from Sri Lanka. haven't asked him how was it but pretty sure it was well. It was 10 in the evening when he came. He ate first the after that we decided to go to the funeral. it was cold inside, there were lots of people, they didn't seem to be sad, more like of a party telling stories about their time with uncle george. i chatted with my cousins. it was midnight when we came home, there were still lots of people. oh my, lots of people love him.

PS: kuya joshua taught me how to "arrange" the 5x5 rubic's cube! yay! i guess i did great but i just dont get the first few parts. :D


pps:
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.
you know what i want.

summer vacation, at last! I waited so long for this moment. Hopefully, it will not go waste. I've been doing stuffs days ago like watching ( taiwanese drama )
</div></div>

Yay~
I deleted my old LJ since I didn't like my username na. i got tired of it and besides, no one's leaving any comment. XD so yea, i'll be blogging about stuffs here. I hope i can still keep this up until the end of summer. i'm still looking for a host. :) but for now, im confused about it. should i really find a host or this free host is just aryt?

It's been a pretty long time since i haven't posted a post worthy of reading - gah. dont assume, this isn't :p. If you knew me because of the internet then, you must know, this person isn't good in blogging just like shit. I just miss everything and want everything back. Yea, everything back to normal. I've been thinking a lot these days and found out that this isn't me and I need to be back to my true self. I know it's pretty vague but it really is, friend. What I mean is I'm not this person who doesn't care at all- i don't study for our lessons even tests and in the end i'll tell myself, "better luck next time/I promise, i'll study next time" but i never followed any of those. i just want to stop fooling myself.

yea, i got low scores. :( this time, its not OK but what's up with all these resolution when the school year's ending! Then I say, God must hate me.

Last night I had to study for this test
I forgot man I'm dead
And now my brain is bursting out of, of my head
I can't think I can't breathe
Once again
I guess it's no use
I'm screwing up every little thing I ever tried to do
I'm born to lose

God must hate me
He cursed me for eternity
God must hate me
Maybe you should pray for me
I'm breaking down and you can't save me
I'm stuck in hell
And I wanna go home